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WARNING: Today’s musing contains NSFW content and images.
I suppose there’s an enhanced amount of frustration among those invested in the WNBA. Last night, on the first Saturday of the reign of David Ellison and team, CBS turned over prime time to what was supposed to be a marquee kickoff to the league’s “rivalry week” with Angel Reese’s Chicago Sky visiting Caitlin Clark’s Indiana Fever. Small problem: neither Reese nor Clark were healthy, and the game an uncompetitive 92-70 rout for the surging yet still fifth place Fever over the Sky, now firmly entrenched in 11th place in the 13-team league, five and one-half games out of a playoff spot with just 13 games left in the regular season.
It’s enough to make actual fans a bit on edge, wanting to express their feelings in some manner. But it’s also apparently opened up opportunties for clearly less invested folks to occupy seats at various arenas and, shall we say, take things in their own hands. Things that most of us would rather not see. As TOTAL PRO SPORTS’ explained on Friday:
There is an epidemic of dildos being thrown during WNBA games. Sex toys have been thrown onto the court during multiple WNBA games, leading to arrests and investigations.
Nobody knows when the next sex toy might come flying onto the court, but there seems to be a group pushing for it to happen. The unfortunate trend is generating a wide range of reactions from players and fans alike.
HUFF POST’s Kimberley Richards captured some of the sentiment of those on the receiving end of those phallic mallets:
When asked about the incident at the Aug. 1 game between host Chicago Sky and the Golden State Valkyries, Sky center Elizabeth Williams told reporters afterward that she thought it was “super disrespectful.” “I don’t really get the point of it. It’s really immature. Whoever’s doing it just needs to grow up,” she said, CNN reported.
“ARENA SECURITY?! Hello??!” New York Liberty forward Isabelle Harrison wrote on X, formerly Twitter, later that same night. “Please do better. It’s not funny. never was funny. Throwing ANYTHING on the court is so dangerous.” And on Tuesday, someone threw a sex toy on the court that went toward Indiana Fever guard Sophie Cunningham during her team’s game against the host Los Angeles Sparks. While Cunningham has appeared to take the incident in jest, other players and fans of the league on X have called the acts “creepy,” demeaning and misogynistic.
But there’s a frat bro culture that’s countering that with a shrug and a sheesh, as Lincoln continued:
Cryptocurrency meme coin creators say they are responsible for the sex toys being thrown at multiple WNBA games, and they are planning more in the near future. Now, @Daldo_Rain, a spokesman for the cryptocurrency enthusiasts, told USA Today the group is responsible for the pranks as it originally started out as a joke. “We didn’t do this because like we dislike women’s sports or, like, some of the narratives that are trending right now are ridiculous,” he said.
And these days, whenever claims of clearly prejudicial and juvenile behavior are made and the sneering reply involves the word “ridiculous”, there’s usually someone from the First Family involved. And sure enough, they couldn’t help but join in the frivolity, as THE INDEPENDENT’s Joe Sommerlad explained:
Donald Trump Jr has taken to Instagram to post a meme of his father, President Donald Trump, throwing a green dildo from the White House roof. “Posted without further comment,” the president’s eldest son wrote in the caption accompanying the photoshopped image, which brings together Trump’s unexpected appearance on the roof overlooking his new patio makeover of the Rose Garden on Tuesday with six female basketball players shooting hoops.
I suppose if the majority of these women aren’t likely to appreciate being grabbed by the p-ssy by any incel it should be seen as a compromise of sorts to toss them something their p-ssies can grab.
And, of course, why should a potential 2028 Presidential candidate (gag) care about the possibilities of inflicting pain far beyond that of what a piece of plastic is capable of, as Richards continued:
Alexandra Cromer, a licensed professional counselor with Thriveworks, said that people throwing sex toys onto the floor of a women’s sports game is “inherently disrespectful, demeaning, and convey[s] a misogynistic message. Cromer emphasized that it’s also important to consider that throwing a sex toy — particularly a dildo — on the court of a women’s sports game can potentially cause emotional harm.
“There could be players who have been sexually assaulted or abused, there could be players with undisclosed sexual and or physical traumas, and there simply exists the fact that using a dildo communicates degradation; that all of your hard work and successes are unable to be viewed outside of your gender as it relates to a sexual object,” she said.
But if a killjoy like Cromer is too much of a buzzkill, let me at least offer the heir to the throne and his fellow excuses for adults some practical advice when it comes to the subject of sex toys. There’s better and more practical ones out there than the crap you’re tossing out like paper towels in Puerto Rico.
Anyone who’s spent any time in an adult novelty store, even at a website such as Adam and Eve, would know that glycerin dildos have more natural feel and provide more comfort for its users. And if you’re really looking to have the assurance that your fantasy might be fulfilled, double-sided ones have much more versatility and popularity. Take it from someone who knows folks who have given these versions their enthusiastic endorsement.
Better still, why waste such precious commodities on strangers who you’ll likely never meet in person? Keep them for yourselves. You can always fantasize about some of them using them on you. And trust me, you’d thank me for those suggestions were that ever to occur.
I, for one, will hope they merely deck you as we both know just about any of them could–ladies or not–and knock your warped head onto the sidewalk. Or, even better, onto a rooftop.
Courage…