NOTE: After a week where we learned a lot more about the alignment of cellular towers and how crucial it is to be able to tell the difference between upper and lower case, we are FINALLY back in the world of the internet-capable. Maybe our long national nightmare is far from over, but my small little version is thankfully at an end.
We expected quite a bit from the good folks assembled in Columbus, Ohio yesterday. After all, it was the first time in recent college football memory that a season opener pitted two of the top three college football teams in the country against each other, one so significant that it prompted an accelerated and expedited deal between two companies as disparate as Google and News Corporation to assure no one on either side of any discourse would be unable to watch Texas visit Ohio State–a game of such magnitude that even those saber-rattling and now Dave Portnoy-infused FOXies looked the other way when ESPN dropped in on the game they had been hyping for most of 2025 that they had coverage of to give Lee Corso the chance to finish his storied College GameDay career on the same turf–and eventually wearing the same head–that he began it with.
But as THE ATHLETIC’s Jason Kirk and Alex Kirschner observed in their just-dropped UNTIL SATURDAY newsletter this morning, what we eventually got was more than a little underwhelming:
Yesterday in Columbus, the Buckeyes did virtually nothing on offense (3.8 yards per play, outgained 336-203), but their defense gained a second life meter when it mattered most (four fourth-down stops). Irresponsible Week 1 overreaction: So much for worrying about how NFL guy Matt Patricia will replace Jim Knowles as Ohio State DC! Ignore how much differently the world would look right now if Texas had gotten either of those fourth-down tries inside the 10.
As for the underwhelming big-game debut of Arch Manning, what does his 17-of-30, one TD, one INT day (with a nearly all-new offensive line, in a brutal environment, against the defending champs) tell us about the universe? Will he become an All-Pro? Will he ever have as many commercials as Eli? Was Quinn Ewers actually better all along, both as a player and as an actor in commercials?
If you were looking for a more dramatic and impactful storyline, you needed to go a bit farther south to Tallahassee, where as the ASSOCIATED PRESS’ Bob Ferrante reported late yesterday some real dramatics unfolded:
New quarterback Tommy Castellanos led a punishing rushing attack for Florida State with 78 yards and a touchdown as the Seminoles stunned No. 8 Alabama 31-17 on Saturday, ending the Crimson Tide’s streak of 23 straight wins in season openers.
Coming off a 2-10 season, Florida State handed a crushing setback to Alabama, which was viewed as a College Football Playoff contender under second-year coach Kalen DeBoer.
Students and fans swarmed the field at Doak Campbell Stadium to celebrate the upset by the Seminoles, who were 13 1/2-point underdogs according to BetMGM Sportsbook.
“It’s one of the reasons why I came here, for moments like these, for days like these,” Castellanos said. “We got a long season ahead. Just take it one week at a time, keep grinding.”
Under new offensive coordinator Gus Malzahn — who spent eight seasons as Auburn’s head coach — Florida State was physical from the start, finishing with 230 rushing yards and averaging 4.7 yards per carry. The Seminoles averaged just 89.9 yards during their disastrous 2024 season.
And as ATHLON SPORTS’ Nikki Chavanelle observed, being able to frustrate fans from Tuscaloosa is even more satisfying even when you’re no longer working within easy driving distance:
The statement win led thousands of fans to storm the field and gave Malzahn more than a little bit of nostalgia. The veteran coach posted his reaction to the win on X after the game. “Felt like old times tonight!!” Malzahn shared…He now boasts six wins as either an offensive coordinator or head coach against his former cross-state rivals.
There were other winners of note on the first real Saturday of the season, not the least of which being Brian Kelly, who as THE ATHLETIC’s duo noted was able to jettison a monkey from his back at least for now:
The (LSU) Tigers started with high-profile losses in each of Brian Kelly’s first three seasons, but they stopped that streak at Clemson. The No. 9 (LSU) Tigers beat the No. 4 (Clemson) Tigers in (Clemson’s) Death Valley, 17-10, overcoming a lousy overturned touchdown call to do it. The LSU defense shined.
And those teams that chose more typical ways to open a season–a charitable olive branch to a far smaller program for a share of even a modest home opener gate–typically cakewalked their way to 1-0. We learned little from blowout wins from the likes of Florida, USC, Oregon and even Maryland other than the fact that they may have a few more athletes capable of making impactful plays than they may have first let on. Prior to yesterday we also learned that Boise State, a 34-7 victim of South Florida, and Army, an inexplicable double overtime loser at home to a team from the Longhorn State that actually won its opener–those vaunted Tarleton State Texans–were far more pretenders than contenders.
But far and away yesterday’s biggest winner was the venerable Corso himself. Witness this final show of prognosticatory and halo prowess, again per K and K:
On the day of Lee Corso’s “College GameDay” exit, his former college teams (Florida State, Maryland, Navy, Louisville, Indiana, Northern Illinois and Ohio State’s Mascot’s Head) all won. His final mascot-picks record: 287-144. His title pick: LSU. Off to a great start there, too.
And he was the only one of his crowded now ex-colleagues to predict b0th a win for Noles Nation and a loss for the Falling Arch.
Happy retirement, Coach. Feel free to weigh in anywhere and elsewhere any time your head is inclined to. Whichever one you choose.
Courage…