It was supposed to be a Love-fest on the not-yet-frozen tundra of Lambeau Field last night for the Green Bay Packers. Sure, they were arguably damn lucky to be 1-1 heading into their home opener, having blown a late lead to the hated Vikings in their season opener and then taking full advantage of an even more ineptly conservative Jets game plan to escape the New Jersey swamplands with an overtime win last week. But they were not only getting to perform in front of their curd-loving faithful but they had arguably the NFL’s doormat, the Atlanta Falcons, as their guests. Surely the suds and the brats would be going down easily along the omnipresent cheese and in droves, right?
Well, cheese usually attracts mice, and as it is said the best-laid plans of mice and men oft times go astray. And WOW was that ever true last night, as the predatory birds from the ATL delivered a convincing 35-14 schvantzing. As THE ATHLETIC’s Matt Schneiderman stammered in his recap released within this morning’s PULSE:
The Packers were poor in all three phases. How much is Matt LaFleur to blame, how much is it on injuries, and how much is on the players themselves? It’s always difficult to accurately assess blame, but the short answer is everything is to blame.
“That was a humbling night,” LaFleur said. “Certainly, I don’t think anybody’s pleased about this. We got an extra couple of days here, and everybody’s gotta take a long, hard look at themselves, and we gotta find solutions and just come back ready to work. But it certainly was a tough night.”
LaFleur is the head coach, so he always deserves at least some blame after a performance this bad. Injuries to guys like edge rusher Micah Parsons, right tackle Zach Bako-Bewele, wide receiver Jayden Reed and left guard Aaron Banks certainly don’t help. And the players aren’t blocking well enough, tackling well enough, catching well enough or throwing well enough. So, almost everything that football players are supposed to do well.
That sums up how underwhelming the Packers have been this season.
“It was a butt-whoopin’,” LaFleur said. “I’m not going to put it on one thing. We definitely have to respond better, but that was at least three-quarters (of a) butt-whoopin’ right there.”
The fine folks at BLEACHER REPORT spelled out a few more sobering statistics that might even make a dairy lover choke:
The Packers are down BAD this year.
➤ Their only win is a late comeback vs. the Jets
➤ They’re averaging 48.7 rush YDs per game. That would be worst in the Super Bowl era.
➤ Jordan Love’s completion % is 52.4 — worse than Jack Strand and Cooper Rush
Dating back to last year, they’re 1-7 in their last eight games.
Meanwhile, do give a little credit to the Birds, for as Schneiderman’s comrade in arms Josh Kendall astutely pointed out they’ve actually got a young quarterback who no doubt is producing a touch of, well, Penix envy in Packer backers minds:
Michael Penix Jr. took the field for the first time in 312 days Thursday night…Penix, coming off his fifth season-ending surgery since college, looked lost to start the game. He threw an interception directly to safety Xavier McKinney on his first downfield pass and sprayed several passes afterward. He responded well after that, however, finishing 18-for-25 passing for 256 yards and a touchdown. Drake London was by far his favorite target, with 194 of those yards on nine receptions.
Huzzahs as well to his teammate and inspiration for such creative fantasy team names as BED, BATH AND BIJAN and who was the number one pick in many leagues this year. Both ATHLETIC scribes contributed to this assessment:
Bijan Robinson’s video-game-like jukes, 20-10 vision and breakaway speed…stole the show. Robinson eased his young quarterback’s return from injury by torching the Green Bay Packers defense for 213 yards of offense (194 rushing, 19 receiving).
It’s a testament to Robinson that this wasn’t his best game. Or even his best primetime game. Or even his best primetime game in his past five outings. But it was pretty spectacular all the same….It was the second-highest rushing output of his career (he had 195 yards against the Los Angeles Rams late last season) and the second-most touches in a game with 31.
Most fans likely stuck with this because, to be fair, the college game featured Liberty and Coastal Carolina, a matchup with some regional appeal because it featured the return of former Chanticleer coach Jamey Caldwell to the quirky-colored venue he used to coach at. But now at the helm of a legitimate Group of Six playoff candidate with the overperforming Flames it wasn’t much of a contest (34-17 Liberty, outscoring CCU 24-0 in the second half). Can’t imagine even the most football-addictive cheeseheads sought solace there.
If anything, they may have been distracted by baseball, where a real coronation was going on and where it could likely be finished off this weekend, as the alleged humans at THE ASSOCIATED PRESS described:
The Milwaukee Brewers reached 100 wins for the first time, and Jackson Chourio hit his 25th homer to lift them to a 5-1 victory over Philadelphia on Thursday night that slowed the Phillies’ playoff push…Milwaukee reached one more milestone to go with its National League Central title and a first-round postseason bye. The Brewers are the first team this year to 100 wins and are trying to hold off the defending champion Los Angeles Dodgers for the No. 1 seed in the NL playoffs.
Merely taking one of three from the disappointing St. Louis Cardinals with the weekend to themselves in their retractable roof home will assure them of home field advantage at every step of their journey toward their potential first-ever world’s championship.
But at least for the moment they will have to concede true excitement to the overjoyed and understandable shocked fan base ninety files to the south and west. Because for only the third time in a regular length season both Chicago teams will be playing baseball beyond their respective regular season finales. Even sight unseen, I have little dount my partner in crime in this space will devote more than enough detailed attention to the Cubs’ 2-1 victory in their regular season home finale over the pesky Miami Marlins and the White Sox’s completion of an unbelievable turnaround from the record-setting 121-loss season of 2024 to a post-season berth that could somehow turn into a first-round playoff bye if they do what they are expected to do against the Colorado Rockies at Rate Field this weekend and the Cleveland Guardians lose a series on the road to the unpredictable Kansas City Royals.
And don’t think Wisconsin fans won’t be paying a bit more attention to the Pale Hose than not. A generation ago prior to the Brewers’ creation the White Sox were playing a small number of home games in Milwaukee’s County Stadium–just like the Packers used to. At the time the White Sox were an ever weaker second fiddle to the Cubbies than they are now and ownership was considering moving. They were certainly on that path in this generation. Not the case today, and with the three AL East qualifiers with superior records each having big question marks and recent AL history to support it, who among us can say with certainty that the White Sox couldn’t wind up in Milwaukee this October as the Brewers’ opponent?
Think the Packers may have lapsed into irrelevance last night? Check in in two weeks. That cheese may very well go completely bad.
Courage…