Anyone who thinks Halloween is the scariest day of the year is probably less familiar with the legend of All Hallows’ DAY. Based on yesterday’s NFL results, I’d offer said legend was paid dutiful homage. In Latin culture, it’s known as Dia De Los Muertos, where the dead are honored. This given Monday is dedicated to that tradition.
Whether your faint hopes were for certain teams or players that had at least some reason to you to continue to have faith in them what transpired yesterday–and especially last night–were enough to drive even the most devout believers into a state of agnostic apoplexy. THE ATHLETIC’s Chris Branch was a few levels above his usual baseline of consternation as he rattled off the highlights–such as they were:
The Bills walloped the Ravens, 36-10, in a rout that somehow felt worse than just a blowout loss for Baltimore. The Ravens finished the game with third-string QB Joe Fagnano getting reps, as superstar Lamar Jackson left after the first play — and could be done for the season — while backup Tyler Huntley lasted just three drives before getting hurt, too. In Baltimore the season feels over.
Days after trading away multiple stars, Indianapolis lost to Jacksonville by five touchdowns. It’s bad enough to wonder when the next star gets traded, or if coach Shane Steichen survives this rut. At least the Jaguars’ jerseys looked cool.
Joe Burrow and the Bengals would like you to know they are serious Super Bowl contenders. They are 5-2, with an 84 percent chance (see simulator) to make the playoffs, but the way they’re winning games week by week is confounding. Yesterday was prime evidence: A 43-36 overtime win against the one-win Titans, in which Burrow threw for five touchdowns, ran for another and threw three picks. Sure, that works.
The story out of Dallas should be the Cowboys’ massive choke in a 33-30 overtime loss to the Cardinals. But I have a hard time getting past the arc of Cardinals backup Gardner Minshew II carving up the Dallas defense en route to a late touchdown to tie the game, Arizona kicker Chad Ryland missing the go-ahead extra point, then Ryland drilling a 42-yarder in OT to win it.
It poured most of the day in Tampa, where the Buccaneers played the Falcons. Wet conditions normally dictate a run-heavy offense. But the Bucs took this to a new level, in which they did all of the following:
- Won the game, 16-0
- Held Michael Penix to 8-of-24 passing and four interceptions
- Completed zero passing attempts
Yes, true. The first team since 1974 to do so.
The Rams won the battle of Los Angeles teams yesterday, 24-9, putting the Chargers at 0-7 for the first time since 2000, when coach Jim Harbaugh was on the roster. There will be difficult conversations this week.
In the late game last night, Washington upended the short-handed Eagles, 27-10, which makes the NFC East race even sillier. Philly is in the mud.
YAHOO! SPORTS’ Kendall Baker tacked on a few more sobering tidbits:
Lions 19, Vikings 15: In football news: The last undefeated team has fallen. In more important news: Detroit linebacker Jack Campbell remains hospitalized after being stretchered off with a scary injury.
Steelers 27, Browns 6: Cleveland lost its 23rd straight regular-season game in Pittsburgh, tying an NFL record for most consecutive road losses vs. a single team.
Raiders 38, Jets 33: The only positive news for Jets fans amid another disappointing start? If the season ended today, they’d own the 4th (via Colts), 5th (own) and 10th (via Cowboys) picks in the 2027 NFL Draft.
Patriots 24, Dolphins 19: Through seven games last year, Miami was 1-6 with a -65 point differential. This year? 1-6 with a -64 point differential. Progress!
Broncos 28, Chiefs 24: Denver erased an 11-point fourth quarter deficit to take over first place in the AFC West and win its 15th straight regular season game that was decided by one score
Summing it up, all but one of the teams I have any swag of that were active all took an L (and considering the lone W was that aforementioned meh effort by the Rams, I’m hardly turning cartwheels over that one). My top fantasy quarterback (Jackson)’s comeback effort lasted exactly one play. Even my other fantasy QB (Pat Mahomes) couldn’t find a way to will a touchdown with four chances (five if you count a penalty) in the last ten seconds that would have prevented Bo Nix from becoming king of the division.
Consider me spooked.
Courage…